Most of the time I love running. But the first mile of any run, no matter my goal, is always awful. I hate it. Seriously. I hate every single step of that mile. I can't let my mind wander. I don't notice the music playing. I just want to quit. I question why I'm doing it. Usually soon after that mile mark I get into a groove, I can finally let my mind wander or enjoy the music playing through my ear buds. The second mile isn't a breeze, but it's easier. After the second mile I usually feel pretty good. Sometimes I feel good enough that I push myself further than I planned. Twice this week I've run a little over half a mile more than my planned run. By the end of those runs I start getting crazy ideas in my head of these big future races.
Then, there are days like today. I was trying to squeeze a run in while my husband was getting ready for work. I needed to get a bill to the post office (since our mail carrier doesn't arrive until around 4pm). So I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone. But from the second I woke up I just didn't want to do it. But I needed to get that bill out, so I laced up my shoes and got my lazy butt out the door. I hit my first mile soon after dropping the bill off. But that sense of freedom didn't hit. I kept pushing, but I was miserable. It was starting to rain. Not a hard rain, just a little drizzle. The kind that I'd usually love to run in. But this morning I wasn't a happy camper about it. I hit two miles and kept going, but at 2.14 miles I said, "forget it!" and I stopped running. I walked around for about 15 minutes and worked my way home. I tried to make up for it on the treadmill, but only made it 5 minutes before I quit...again. No surprise there, I hate the treadmill.
Some days I just don't feel like a runner. Today is one of those days. But I know that tomorrow I'll get back out there. I'll suffer through that first mile, then I'll push myself on. It won't be a long run since I have to get cleaned up to go pick up my mom, she'll be in town for my middle little's birthday. But I'll be out there (unless there's a downpour, we're supposed to have more rain...just sayin'!).