Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Plateau and a forced break

I wish I wrote more here.  I'm sure it would be a great outlet for me.  I struggle with putting myself out there that much though.  Weight loss is such a personal thing.  Some people are willing to say what they used to weigh and what they weigh now.  It was hard enough for me just to put my old size and new size.  Sigh...

Anyway, I've been at a big FAT plateau since we moved in January...yeah, January.  I workout all the friggin' time!  I run...a lot!  Most of my runs are around 5 miles, my longest so far has been 11 miles though.  I know where my downfall is though...it's what goes in my mouth.  I was religiously counting calories before, eating more to compensate for my workouts (1200 is NOT realistic if you're working out, you can't convince me otherwise), but was counting every little thing.  I haven't been doing so well with that since moving.  I'll start the day counting, then get lazy.  I make mostly good choices...mostly.  But before I KNEW when I was at my limit and now I don't.  And water.  I need more water again.  I was drinking around 100 oz a day (hello bathroom breaks hourly! lol!).  We had a Deep Rock water cooler and the water was so good and cold it was easy!  Now I have boring ol' tap water and even with ice it's never as good.  

I'm happy to be where I am compared to where I used to be.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm NEVER going back there.  I was not comfortable in my own skin at that size.  I'm still not that comfortable to be honest, but there are definitely days where I think, "Dang, I'm looking good today!"  Getting dressed is more fun because I'm not dressing to disappear.  My husband, who lost over 40 pounds thanks to my inspiration (so proud of him!), seems to appreciate my efforts too.  :)

My husband says I push myself too far.  I try to burn at least 1000 calories a day.  I get up early and do a Jillian Michaels workout.  I run when my husband is home to watch the kids.  I go to the fitness center at our apartment complex at night.  And in between all that I homeschool my 5 year old, chase my 2 year old around and help my almost 8 year old with homework.  Plus all the laundry, dishes, cleaning that come with being a stay-at-home mom.  I spend time with my husband after I workout, you know, because I friggin' love him and all.  I don't sleep enough...this is bad for weight loss too, I know.  I got more sleep when I was losing weight.  I was in a commuter marriage, we only saw each other on the weekends (it sucked, we both hated it, never again!!!).  I've known for awhile I need to take a rest day.  I just mentally struggle with that.  I've seen Bob Harper wear a shirt that even mentions rest days.  The running page I follow in Facebook has posted a meme that mentions the rest day and "keeping it holy." I just can't do it.  Until yesterday...and today...sort of.

Yesterday I was supposed to have a lot of time to workout.  My husband had the day off.  He worked out, then when he was back and showered I was going to go.  But our 2 year old had a sudden illness strike while he was gone.  By the time he was home and showered we realized she needed to go to the doctor.  She'd been fine that morning, but was suddenly lethargic and had a fever of 103.  Scary!  So off to the doc we went...for four hours!  By the time we got home and fed the kids and got them to bed it was nearly 8:30 and my husband and I hadn't even eaten yet.  So I threw a spaghetti squash in the over and headed to the fitness center for all of 30 minutes then came home and showered while he shredded the squash.  I'd done my 75 squats that morning for a challenge, but those two exercises were all I did.  Then today I had to take my daughter back to the doc for more tests and shots, three hours later we left...being gone for a total of four hours and again I only had time for 30 minutes at the fitness center, this time because my husband is working a weird and rare night shift and had to go to work.  I still need to do my now 80 squats for the day.  But that's all I'll get in.  Sure, I have a treadmill at home.  But it's loud and we have neighbors (welcome back to apartment living) and by the time the kids are in bed so I have time to get on there for any decent amount of time it's too late and would be rude (man, it's times like these I wish we lived on the first floor).

So, these aren't total rest days, but close enough.  Tomorrow my husband gets to go in late because of his late shift tonight and he promised I can go to the fitness center for longer.  Now, please let my daughter get healthy enough that I can actually go.  She comes first, no question about that.  But I want her healthy and desperately don't want her to have to endure any more blood draws or shots for awhile.  She's pretty traumatized by it.  By the time we left today she wouldn't open her eyes if the nurse or doctor were in the room.  I guess if you can't see them they're not really there? Silly girl!

And I'm NOT even close to perfect.  I felt so bad for her that we went to 7-Eleven after and I got her a treat.  The cashier thought she was so cute that he gave her a free small Slurpee and I got her a Kit Kat (she picked it).  I got some Special K crisps or something like that...I was starving!  Not exactly health food, but whatever.  I'm a work in progress!

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