Thursday, May 16, 2013

Phone photo dump

Sorry a couple of these are sideways. No idea why, I thought I had that fixed and if I pull the pic up on my computer it's right side up. So, you'll have to deal with my complete lack of computer skills. Sorry! Also, these are in no particular order...but my posts here are pretty void of pictures and that's lame! So here's a big ol' dump (ew!) of pictures from my phone. ;)

These are my legs, well part of them. No biggie, right? For normal people yes, this would be no biggie. But I'm far from normal. I've hidden in my clothing for so dang long! I have hated my legs for as long as I can remember. Even now I don't like them that much. But they are super muscular (and a bit jiggly too) right now. I am proud of their strength. I am proud of how far I've come with running. And I also don't want to run in sweats all summer. Talk about torture! So I bought a pair of running capris. My legs are white, like really, really, really white. They never see the sun, they're blinding. But I've been wearing these off and on for a month now (I only have one pair...they need to be washed between wearings and all). I feel completely exposed between the blinding skin showing and being skin tight. But I'm branching out of my comfort zone and that's a pretty big deal for me!

This is me, droopy looking eye and all (I swear I don't really have a droopy eye...I don't think). This is my newish dress. Again, not a big deal for most. But a huge deal for me. Last summer I really wanted a maxi dress. I went to Old Navy and tried them on since they had about a million to choose from. I looked like a whale in a muumuu. It's was humiliating to say the least. And I did NOT get a maxi dress. Fast forward to now. I'm not at my goal weight. In fact, I'm stuck in a big ol' plateau, but I'm in MUCH better shape than a year ago and I got a maxi dress! And it's so comfortable! If I had money I'd probably buy all the maxis I could find...with sleeves, you know, because of my funky Mormon underwear and all. And that necklace...that's me breaking out of my comfort zone again. It's from Down East Basics, probably my favorite store ever! (I love their layering shirts!) Oh and the dress is a size MEDIUM!!! MEDIUM!!!!! Wahoo!

Welcome to my sideways pictures, I'll try to make your stay here short.

On Saturday I ran a 5K. Sort was supposed to be a 5K, the people running it called it that. But I tracked it...and have run parts of it again since then and it was NOT 3.1 miles. It was 2.72 miles. My time was just seconds over 26 minutes. I'd love that to be real. But my previous fastest 5K was in March and that was just seconds over 29 minutes. I haven't improved that much...or at all since this 5K was a bit hilly (again, people running it lied when they said it was a flat course, haha!) and at an elevation about 1000 feet higher than my last. But whatever, I was coming close to PRing and wish they hadn't screwed up the distance. But at least I got a cool (to me) shirt out of the deal! And it wasn't an expensive race and raised money for a good cause. And my goodie bag came with a $5 gift certificate to the outlet malls. Woot!  Oh and this is a pic of me AFTER the race...sans makeup and all sweaty.  Sexy, no? No!!!!  Haha!

After the above 5K we visited with my brother-in-law in Aurora to take him cookies and homemade cards for his birthday. And since we were in the area we decided to check out a local running store. They'd been one of the sponsors of my race and I was curious. I got this tee that I just love! It's so soft and I ran in it the next day and it was so comfy! Plus being a huge fan of the Boston area (having married a man from back there and all) I loved that all proceeds from it went to the One Fund (or whatever it's called...I know, I'm lame and don't know the official name).

What's a pie eating contest picture doing on my exercise/fitness/health/whatever-you-want-to-call-it blog? It's me keeping it real. My oldest won the privilege of being her class representative in the pie eating contest at their party a couple weeks ago. She didn't win, but she had a blast. And life is too short not to do this kind of stuff once in awhile.

I have so many emotions about what happened in Boston on April 15th. The Boston Bombings were horrific! These losers attacked my favorite city, my favorite sport, and truly innocent people. I was ticked! I want the remaining bomber to suffer...a lot! I want answers first. The victims deserve answers! But then I want him to suffer! Screw lethal injection! Screw a firing squad (any state still do those?)! Screw hanging (again, any state still do this?)! Put that effer in a big ol' field, tie him up, place a pressure cooker bomb full of crap next to him and set that bugger off! Then let him lay there and bleed out. And yet, that's still too compassionate. (I know, I'm a democrat, so I should be all for life in jail and whatnot, or so I'm told...but whatever, this guy needs to suffer and I am more than my political party of choice! Bet you're all glad now I'm not in charge of this stuff, huh?) Anyway, back to the picture. This was April 15th. It was 27 degrees here and snowing. I was angry. I was trying to process my emotions. I was glued to the news coverage. My husband came home and I went for a run. It was a super short run, but I got out there and ran for those who were hurt and couldn't run. I ran for those 3 who died. I ran for the runners who didn't get to finish the race. I ran because I could run!

And my final picture is a screen shot of Nike+ from Monday. I ran. It was bloody hot!!! Not kidding, mid 70s is bloody hot to me if I'm out in the sun and running. I hadn't done a long run in 3 weeks. This was shorter than my last long run, but it was all I could handle. I was dying! Never again will I go that long between long runs! But I still did it. I got out there and ran.

Why is running so important to me?  Because I can do it!  I'm an only child, so I don't have siblings to look to, to see how their health is.  I just have my parents.  And their health freaking SUCKS!!!!  Both are diabetic.  Totally lame!  My dad has been in and out of hospitals for the last six months with stuff eating his bones, infecting his legs, etc.  He's been semi-retired.  He's in surgery as I write this.  He's looking into a new idea what yet.  Because he'll likely have to be semi-retired for another six months and he just can't do that.  At 63 he's having to rethink his life.  And that sucks!  I'm terrified of getting like that.  I'm half made up of his DNA.  My mom's diabetes is super lame, she's insulin resistant.  Scary stuff! She also has been tracking her calories because she's gaining weight while eating an amount that most people would lose eating.  The doctor has been running tests and basically has concluded that she's genetically per-destined to be fat.  So not awesome!  So they're trying some drug on her to see if it will help.  All of that scares me!  That's my genetics.  That's what made me!  So I run.  I run often.  I push myself.  I go to the fitness center at our complex and I use the bike and the elliptical machine.  I do Jillian Michaels dvds almost daily.  I eat mostly good food.  I spent too many years not caring enough and I don't have the luxury of doing that.  I have a husband and three little girls that I want to live for.  Not just being here physically.  But being able to actually LIVE and be active and participate in life.  Every time I run I feel like I have diabetes chasing me, so I run more.  My average run is just over 5 miles.  On a bad day I run over 3 (unless it's snowing, then I don't last even that long...why do I live in a snowy state?!?!!).  My longest run is 11 miles.  I'm eying a half-marathon this summer and another in September.  I'm registered for a 5k in August and am looking for others in between now and then.  I will not succumb to what my genetics are.  I will fight!

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Plateau and a forced break

I wish I wrote more here.  I'm sure it would be a great outlet for me.  I struggle with putting myself out there that much though.  Weight loss is such a personal thing.  Some people are willing to say what they used to weigh and what they weigh now.  It was hard enough for me just to put my old size and new size.  Sigh...

Anyway, I've been at a big FAT plateau since we moved in January...yeah, January.  I workout all the friggin' time!  I run...a lot!  Most of my runs are around 5 miles, my longest so far has been 11 miles though.  I know where my downfall is's what goes in my mouth.  I was religiously counting calories before, eating more to compensate for my workouts (1200 is NOT realistic if you're working out, you can't convince me otherwise), but was counting every little thing.  I haven't been doing so well with that since moving.  I'll start the day counting, then get lazy.  I make mostly good choices...mostly.  But before I KNEW when I was at my limit and now I don't.  And water.  I need more water again.  I was drinking around 100 oz a day (hello bathroom breaks hourly! lol!).  We had a Deep Rock water cooler and the water was so good and cold it was easy!  Now I have boring ol' tap water and even with ice it's never as good.  

I'm happy to be where I am compared to where I used to be.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm NEVER going back there.  I was not comfortable in my own skin at that size.  I'm still not that comfortable to be honest, but there are definitely days where I think, "Dang, I'm looking good today!"  Getting dressed is more fun because I'm not dressing to disappear.  My husband, who lost over 40 pounds thanks to my inspiration (so proud of him!), seems to appreciate my efforts too.  :)

My husband says I push myself too far.  I try to burn at least 1000 calories a day.  I get up early and do a Jillian Michaels workout.  I run when my husband is home to watch the kids.  I go to the fitness center at our apartment complex at night.  And in between all that I homeschool my 5 year old, chase my 2 year old around and help my almost 8 year old with homework.  Plus all the laundry, dishes, cleaning that come with being a stay-at-home mom.  I spend time with my husband after I workout, you know, because I friggin' love him and all.  I don't sleep enough...this is bad for weight loss too, I know.  I got more sleep when I was losing weight.  I was in a commuter marriage, we only saw each other on the weekends (it sucked, we both hated it, never again!!!).  I've known for awhile I need to take a rest day.  I just mentally struggle with that.  I've seen Bob Harper wear a shirt that even mentions rest days.  The running page I follow in Facebook has posted a meme that mentions the rest day and "keeping it holy." I just can't do it.  Until yesterday...and today...sort of.

Yesterday I was supposed to have a lot of time to workout.  My husband had the day off.  He worked out, then when he was back and showered I was going to go.  But our 2 year old had a sudden illness strike while he was gone.  By the time he was home and showered we realized she needed to go to the doctor.  She'd been fine that morning, but was suddenly lethargic and had a fever of 103.  Scary!  So off to the doc we went...for four hours!  By the time we got home and fed the kids and got them to bed it was nearly 8:30 and my husband and I hadn't even eaten yet.  So I threw a spaghetti squash in the over and headed to the fitness center for all of 30 minutes then came home and showered while he shredded the squash.  I'd done my 75 squats that morning for a challenge, but those two exercises were all I did.  Then today I had to take my daughter back to the doc for more tests and shots, three hours later we left...being gone for a total of four hours and again I only had time for 30 minutes at the fitness center, this time because my husband is working a weird and rare night shift and had to go to work.  I still need to do my now 80 squats for the day.  But that's all I'll get in.  Sure, I have a treadmill at home.  But it's loud and we have neighbors (welcome back to apartment living) and by the time the kids are in bed so I have time to get on there for any decent amount of time it's too late and would be rude (man, it's times like these I wish we lived on the first floor).

So, these aren't total rest days, but close enough.  Tomorrow my husband gets to go in late because of his late shift tonight and he promised I can go to the fitness center for longer.  Now, please let my daughter get healthy enough that I can actually go.  She comes first, no question about that.  But I want her healthy and desperately don't want her to have to endure any more blood draws or shots for awhile.  She's pretty traumatized by it.  By the time we left today she wouldn't open her eyes if the nurse or doctor were in the room.  I guess if you can't see them they're not really there? Silly girl!

And I'm NOT even close to perfect.  I felt so bad for her that we went to 7-Eleven after and I got her a treat.  The cashier thought she was so cute that he gave her a free small Slurpee and I got her a Kit Kat (she picked it).  I got some Special K crisps or something like that...I was starving!  Not exactly health food, but whatever.  I'm a work in progress!