I'm starting to panic. My half marathon is less than 2 weeks away. This has been a goal for so long! For years I said I was going to run one. And for years I failed to get to the point where I could. Back in 2002 before marriage, before kids, before FAT I ran one in Las Vegas. I met my husband while I was training. I got distracted. I pretty much quit training. I wasn't ready for the race. But I'd purchased the plane ticket and paid the registration fee (these races aren't cheap!), so I was going to finish one way or another. I ended up hurting my hip about 8 miles in and spent the rest of the race half walking/half running. So I don't really feel like I've run a half marathon.
My goal for this race is to run every. single. step. I'm hoping to run at an 11-12 minute mile pace. I'm not fast, I've come to terms with that. When I'm lucky I average a little below an 11 minute mile. Like today's run. I averaged 10:57 per mile. That run really sucked though! I started over near the county fairgrounds. It's a great place to run. Lots of hills, but some shorter (much shorter) areas of flat ground. But I can run up in the hills in the nice neighborhoods, or on a long stretch of street that's heavily driven on so I feel safe, I can run through the heart of town, which makes this place seem like a small town, and pass the fun little shops...although running past the French bakery as the smells of freshly baked goodness waft out into the air is a little torturous! But despite all those options, this run was HARD! I had NO energy, not even an ounce. If I didn't have this half coming up I probably would've convinced myself to stay in bed and workout later...which wouldn't be running because it's getting super hot here by about 10am every day...heck, I was feeling the heat around 7am when I finished.
I don't feel ready for this race. I should, I ran 12 miles a week and a half ago, then six days later ran 10 miles. I'm tapering down and my next long run will be 8 miles. But my normal run a couple days a week, in addition to my once a week long run, is about 5-6 miles and I do interval training 3 days a week too. I should totally be able to do this. I've purchased my Shot Bloks for the race. I have a new water bottle with an iPhone carrying case attached. Totally frivolous purchase, but my husband insisted. I think he's still having flashbacks to me after my 11 mile run a few weeks ago where I came home, made my daughter's sack lunch for school then sunk down to the floor completely drained. Hydration is important, I get it. But races have drink zones. Oh well.
My stupid inner voice keeps mocking me, telling me I can't do this. My other inner voice is telling her to shut up. I'm starting to think I'm crazy for hearing voices.
I have my compression capris from Old Navy, they may not be Lululemon, but they're friggin' awesome! I can't believe I let myself be seen in public in them, I don't have skinny mini legs, but they're comfortable and way better for running long distances than my normal exercise pants which are not fitted and are all floor length. And being a size 8 means I'm not exactly fat either...not to my goal, but I'm normal sized. I'm just thicker in the legs...yay or being a pear shape. :/ So my self-consciousness be damned, I will be rocking those pants! And my "Colorado Runners for Boston" shirt that I got at Run Colorado.
In the meantime, I'll be fighting with those crazy voices in my head and hoping I don't die running! ;)