That first mile

Most of the time I love running.  But the first mile of any run, no matter my goal, is always awful.  I hate it.  Seriously.  I hate every single step of that mile.  I can't let my mind wander.  I don't notice the music playing.  I just want to quit.  I question why I'm doing it.  Usually soon after that mile mark I get into a groove, I can finally let my mind wander or enjoy the music playing through my ear buds.  The second mile isn't a breeze, but it's easier.  After the second mile I usually feel pretty good.  Sometimes I feel good enough that I push myself further than I planned.  Twice this week I've run a little over half a mile more than my planned run.  By the end of those runs I start getting crazy ideas in my head of these big future races. 

Then, there are days like today.  I was trying to squeeze a run in while my husband was getting ready for work.  I needed to get a bill to the post office (since our mail carrier doesn't arrive until around 4pm).  So I figured I'd kill two birds with one stone.  But from the second I woke up I just didn't want to do it.  But I needed to get that bill out, so I laced up my shoes and got my lazy butt out the door.  I hit my first mile soon after dropping the bill off.  But that sense of freedom didn't hit.  I kept pushing, but I was miserable.  It was starting to rain.  Not a hard rain, just a little drizzle.  The kind that I'd usually love to run in.  But this morning I wasn't a happy camper about it.  I hit two miles and kept going, but at 2.14 miles I said, "forget it!" and I stopped running.  I walked around for about 15 minutes and worked my way home.  I tried to make up for it on the treadmill, but only made it 5 minutes before I quit...again.  No surprise there, I hate the treadmill.

Some days I just don't feel like a runner.  Today is one of those days.  But I know that tomorrow I'll get back out there.  I'll suffer through that first mile, then I'll push myself on.  It won't be a long run since I have to get cleaned up to go pick up my mom, she'll be in town for my middle little's birthday.  But I'll be out there (unless there's a downpour, we're supposed to have more rain...just sayin'!).